Connections
by Akikofuma
Summary: When Harry finds a drunk Snape in a Gaybar, he decides to take him home. From that day on, they meet up every weekend, connecting... I suck at summary's, I hope you read it anyway. Pairing: Snape x Harry Rated M for later Chapters
1. Connections

**Warning: This story contains slash and spoilers, so if you haven't read Harry Potter or don't like slash, don't read it!**

**In this Fanfiction Snape survives. **

Disclaimer: Nothing aside the plot belongs to me.

Pairing: HarryxSeverus

Chapter 1

The low beat filled the room, making Harry's chest vibrate with ever loud beat. The room was full of men, either dancing close to each other on the dance floor, or sitting at the bar, drinking and watching the others dance. It was an all men's place, and Harry loved it. He had known he was gay since the 6th year, and had found this little place soon after the war was over.

Now, 8 years later, he had grown into a man. Since he had chosen to be an Auror, he had trained his body, giving him define muscles, and strength. He didn't wear glasses anymore either, after they had broken the 5th time in a row in his training. Contact lenses did the job just as good as his old glasses did. His face had grown to be more masculine, with finer features. He had also grown some stubbles on his chin, making him look older and even more attractive. He had grown into a handsome, self confident young man. All in all, Harry was happy with his life.

He loved his job. It was dangerous, yes. But that was exactly what he loved about it. The kick. The adrenalin. And that he put evil witches and wizards behind bars. He had good friends, that stood by his side and were always there for him when he needed help. The Weaslys were like a family, and so he had everything he had ever wanted. There was no reason to complain.

Slowly he mad his way to the bar, and stopped in his tracks. His eyes had to be playing a trick on him, or he was absolutely drunk. He had expected to see this man again sometime in his life. Maybe in Hogwarts, where he visited regularly. Maybe in the Diagonal Alley. Maybe even in Hogsmead. But not here. Not ever here.

There he sat, staring at the dancing crowd, sipping on something that had to be Whiskey. Severus Snape.

Harry couldn't believe it. He had to be drunk. Slowly he made his way to Snape, careful to stay out of his direct sight. The man must have had a lot to drink or else he would have seen Harry coming. He didn't know why, but Snape had always had a thing about knowing where Harry was and if he was approaching. His assumption was soon proven right. As he got closer to the Potion Master, he could se several empty glasses next to him.

"I didn't expect to see you here Professor." he said quietly, leaning against the bar next to Snape. The wizard jumped, and stared at Harry in disbelieve. "Are you here to dance?"

"I do not dance, Potter." Snape snarled, trying to get up, but failing. Harry had to hold back a grin. He had never thought that he would see a drunk Snape. He watched as the older one struggled to get back on the chair without falling, and finally helped him by grabbing his arm gently and steadying him.

Severus shot him a hateful glance. Harry just smiled and let go of Snape as soon as he was sure he was sitting securely on the chair . He had learned to respect Snape after the war, and they got along... which frankly meant they didn't snap at each other whenever they met.

"If you are not here to dance, what are you here for Professor?" Harry thought about asking him if he was seeing a man, or was maybe looking for one. He then decided against it. Snape seemed pretty drunk, and when the man lost his temper, he was unstoppable. He would probably draw his wand out, and hex him into tomorrow. He didn't want that. Especially not in front of all these muggles.

"I'm here to observe, brat." Snape answered, watching two men disappear into the dark room. Harry raised an eyebrow and counted the glasses next to Snape. The man had to be absolutely hammered.

"And to drink, obviously." he stated, pulling a chair closer to Snape's so he could sit down as well. It was only now that he noticed he had grown to be taller then Snape. It made him grin. Now it would be he to look down at Snape, and Snape would have to look up to him. It would be a nice change, Harry knew.

"And even if it were so, you insolent child, what do you care?" Snape snapped, running a hand through his hair. "It's none of your business."

"Indeed it is not. It will become my business when you tumble out of here and right onto the street, Professor." Harry said, watching Snape. The normally pale cheeks had a reddish glow to them, the lips were a light pink. Harry also noticed that Snape's hair wasn't at all greasy anymore. They looked soft, and nice. If Snape hadn't been Snape, Harry would have just reached out and softly touched them. Knowing Snape though, he would probably hex him into the next millennium. Drunk or not, Snape was an excellent wizard and dangerous if he wanted to be.

"I will do no such thing." Snape snapped, and stared at Harry with angry eyes. Harry's grin widened. Snape was actually kind of cute like this. He liked it.

"That is right Professor. You will finish your last drink, and then I will take you home. You've clearly had enough alcohol for today." Harry said, watching a boy dance. The boy was clearly staring at him. He was cute too. If Snape hadn't been there, Harry would probably have danced with him. He didn't take it further with anyone he didn't love. But dancing was okay.

"No, Potter, you wont. You will leave me, go and dance or whatever it is you brat's do, and I shall leave soon by myself." Harry just gave a sigh. Snape was stubborn. Still. Harry had to get him home.

"I will Professor. Now relax." Harry said, watching as the boy that had stared at him walked his way. Harry gave a small smile. Snape took another sip of his drink.

"Hey. My name is Mike." the boy introduced himself. Harry gave another small smile.

"Hey Mike. I'm Harry." he then answered, and shot a look at Snape who emptied his drink.

"Would you care for a dance, Harry?" Mike then asked, giving Harry a smile.

Harry smiled at him and then said "I'm sorry Mike, I would love to, but I think I have to take my friend home. He's had enough."

"Oh go and dance with him, brat! I'm not going anywhere." Snape snarled, and gave Mike a hateful look, before ordering another drink.

"This is the last drink Professor." Harry said, before standing up slowly. What harm was there in one short dance? He would keep an eye on his professor, and everything would be fine.

He and Mike walked to the dance floor, and soon he felt lost in the rhythm. He loved dancing, and Mike was a good partner. Not pushing anything on him like some guys tried. Not being to active. Just right.

"So, the other dude is your professor?" Mike asked, and gave Severus a short glance. "How come you went here together?"

"Well, he used to be my professor. And we ran into each other today. Honestly, the last place in the world I thought he would be." Harry smiled, softly putting one hand on Mike's hip.

"He does seem... kind of out of place." Mike said, smiling at Harry. The next time Harry looked at the bar to check on Snape, he was gone. Panic rose in Harry. Had the man just left?

"I'm sorry, but I have to cut this short Mike. I think my companion has gotten into trouble." Harry said, not even giving Mike another glance before leaving. He checked the bathrooms first. Considering the amount of alcohol Severus had in his system, this seemed his best guess. But Snape wasn't there.

So Harry quickly walked outside, leaving his coat behind, not caring about it. He had to find the drunk Potion Master before he was hit by a car. Or, in Snape's state, walked against a tree.

He had taken two steps out of the door and found Snape, leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette. There was no sign of the alcohol as he stood perfectly still and watched the few cars that passed by.

"Professor, you shouldn't just walk away like that. I was worried." Harry said, taking the place on the right of Snape, now also leaning against the wall. "You shouldn't smoke. It's not healthy."

"Mr. Potter, I am 43 years old, I think I am capable of making the decision if I wish to smoke or not." Severus said, giving Harry a death glare from the side. "Why are you here?"

"I said I would bring you home Professor. And that is what I will do." Harry said, watching Severus. In the pale light of the moon Severus looked... attractive. In an odd way.

"Stop staring Potter, or I will hex you blind." Snape said, turning away. "Why do you insist on taking me home?"

"I want to make sure you are okay. Though frankly, you don't seem drunk at all anymore." Harry said, quickly turning his gaze in another direction. Snape was in a bad mood, and Harry believed his threat.

"How noble." Severus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Do you think I would go and get drunk without thinking? I have taken a potion that will stop the symptoms of the alcohol. I want to get home in one piece." Severus turned to look at him, and finally seemed to realize, that Harry was now taller then himself. He didn't look pleased.

"Of course. I should have thought of that." he answered and smiled slightly.

"Yes, you should have. Now, I propose you go back and finish your dance with the boy, and leave me alone. It is best for me to retire home now." Severus said, taking a deep drag.

"I am going to bring you home Professor." Harry said again, watching as Severus threw the cigarette away, obviously annoyed.

"Fine you annoying brat." he then said, and started walking in his normal fast pace. Even without the cloak the way Snape walked looked smooth, almost as if he was gliding over the street instead of walking on it. Harry quickly followed, and watched him.

"Mr Potter, it would be kind of you were to refrain yourself from staring at me, and start watching where you are going." Snape said, shooting him a quick glance.

"Are you scared I could get hurt?" Harry asked, grinning.

"I fear that you will run into a tree, and make me look like a fool when I bring you to a doctor." Snape answered.

After a while of walking, Harry looked at Snape. "Don't you live in Hogwarts, Professor?"

"I do." Severus said, giving him a weird look.

"Then... why aren't we apperating there?" Harry asked.

"Potter, do you consider yourself a good Auror?" Severus asked, still walking swiftly.

"I do Professor. But what-" Severus interrupted.

"I disagree." he snapped, throwing Harry a mocking glance. "I do not believe you are as good as you think."

"And why do you believe that, Professor?" Harry asked, slightly insulted. He **knew** he was a good Auror.

"Because you haven't noticed that we are being followed." Snape said, his voice mocking. "If we apperated now, we would surly call attention to ourselves, something I am very opposed to."

Harry blinked. They were being followed? He quickly scanned the area, checking to see if he could feel any magic except his own and Snape's. He didn't find any. So he quickly turned his head and looked over his shoulder. Snape was right. They were being followed. A young man was walking behind them, a few feet behind them.

"A muggle. Do you know him?" Harry asked.

"Yes, unfortunately I do. I met him on occasion in the club, and he has seemed to take a liking to me. As I told him that his feelings were one-sided he was very displeased. He started to follow me." Severus answered, staring straight ahead.

"A stalker?" Harry asked surprised. It seemed surreal that Snape would have a stalker. On the other hand, he was an interesting man, when he wasn't being a totally rude and sarcastic. He had seen a lot of things in his life.

"If you wish to calm him that, yes." Severus answered.

"How will we leave without him noticing?" Harry asked. He was sure Snape wouldn't let him talk to the boy. The boy would probably remind Snape of himself. Chasing an unrequited love...

"I usually walk to the train station, and loose him in the crowd. Then I go out through the back entrance and apperate from there." Severus informed him.

"Don't you want to confront him?" Harry asked. He would probably feel insecure when somebody would follow him.

"No. I only see him on the weekend, and he doesn't do anything but follow me. I am not in danger." Severus answered. Harry could see the train station, only a few more minutes and they would be 'safe'.

"Stalkers tend to start out like that, and then get worse." Harry said. "No big difference between muggles and wizards in things like this. Love is the same wherever you go." he added, as Snape raised an eyebrow.

"I very much doubt that he is in love with me." Severus said, snarling a bit as Harry opened the door to the train station for him. "I am very well capable of opening a door myself Potter."

"I'm just being polite, Professor. I know you can open a door." Harry smiled. A few years ago, he would have probably lost his temper thanks to the rude professor, but in Aurortraining he had learned to hold his feelings at bay. Snape way trying to provoke him, so that he would leave, Harry knew. But he was not going to leave. He wanted to find out why his professor had been in a muggle disco, and a gay one at that.

They both walked through a crowd of people, and then hurried to leave the building. Snape had been right. They had lost the boy.

"Sir, what about the apperating shields in Hogwarts?" Harry asked. "Have they been removed?"

"They have not." Severus answered. "But as you should know, apperating to the edge of the Forbidden Forest is possible."

Harry nodded. Had he really forgotten all these things?

"Potter, when you are done staring into space, would you be so kind as to hold my arm?" Snape said, clearly annoyed. Harry looked at him questioning. "You do want to end up at the same place as I will, or am I making a mistake with my assumption?"

"Yes I do Professor." Harry said, laying his hand on Severus arm. This way Snape would apperate them together.

After a loud 'pop', Harry opened his eyes again, and took his hand of Snape's arm. He knew the former Death Eater would probably not appreciate him touching him for longer then necessary.

They walked to the castle in silence, and Harry followed Snape down into the dungeons, until Snape stopped in front of the door to the Potions classroom.

"I am _save_ now, Mr Potter. You can leave." he said, giving a sarcastic tone to the word save.

"I would like to talk to you Professor." Harry said, not moving.

"Then you are the only one who wants to do so, Potter." Snape sneered. "I feel no need to talk to you on any level."

"I know Professor. But you will. I want an explanation for what I saw tonight." Harry said.

"And what makes you think you will receive one, Potter?" Snape said, opening the door.

"Because if you don't tell me by yourself, I will just find out." Harry said, giving Snape a cheeky smile. "You know I can. And I will."

Snape threw im a hateful look. "For merlin's sake, then come in Potter. I don't want to waste time on this."

Harry grinned, and followed Snape into the classroom. He had expected their conversation to take place here, but he soon found he was wrong. Snape walked across the room, Harry following him, and opened a door at the other side of the classroom.

He walked inside, and Harry found himself in Snape's private rooms. In his living room to be precise. It was different from what he expected it to be. It wasn't cold, or empty. The room was full of bookshelves that plastered every piece of wall. There was a fireplace, with two chairs situated in front of it, slightly turned so the person who was sitting in it was able to look at the other without straining his neck.

Snape sat done in one of them, and lit the fire with a lazy wave of his wand. "Sit Potter, or do you prefer standing while talking to me?"

Harry quickly sat down next to Severus. Even now, 8 years later, Snape could still make him feel like a young boy. Somehow it made Harry smile.

"Now, ask what you are here to ask, and then leave." Snape said, watching the fire.

"Why where you at the club professor? Why do you go there? You don't seem to be a person who enjoys big crowds and loud music." Harry said, and then quickly added "Which I don't mean as an insult."

"As unlikely as it might seem I do enjoy company once in a while Potter. And while this is almost impossible in the Wizard world, I search it in a world that doesn't see me as a Death Eater and murderer." was all Snape said.

"I understand." Harry answered. He did understand. He sometimes hated to be who he was. Especially when he wanted to be invisible. The people still hadn't gotten enough from him. Weekly, he got call's about Interviews and stuff like that. But for Snape it had to be worse. He was treated as a murderer, even after he had been cleared.

"If you have gotten your answer, you can leave then." Snape said, still watching the fire.

"Are you going there next weekend?" Harry asked, slowly standing up.

"I very much doubt it." Snape said. "I prefer not to run into former students."

"I would enjoy to see you again, professor." Harry simply said. "I will be waiting for you there."

Snape slowly turned his head to look at him. He didn't answer.

"Have a good night professor." Harry said, turning and leaving. He didn't know why, but he desperately wanted to see Snape again, not in Hogwarts where there were eyes and ears everywhere. He wanted to be alone with Snape, wanted to talk to him. Connect to him.

He was surprised at how urgent this feeling was, how his stomach ached when he thought about that Snape would probably not show up. Not that Harry would let that happen. Still. It was weird he felt this way.

And, to be completely honest, it scared him.

**Tbc...?**


	2. Bonds

_Okay, so here is chapter 2, I really hope you enjoy it. Also, I hope this time it will be uploaded without a problem. Thank you for reading my story. Enjoy._

**Chapter 2**

Harry looked at his watch, biting his lip nervously. It was already 10 p.m. and Severus hadn't shown up yet. Not that it surprised him. It was exactly the reaction he had expected from his former professor.

Harry looked around, taking a sip from the bottle of beer he held in his hand. He had sat down exactly where he had found Snape last week, hoping that the Potions Master would return here, spend time with him...

Just when Harry was about to leave, to depressed and disappointed to stay, he heard a silky voice asking "Leaving, Potter?"

Harry turned around, and stared into two black eyes. He wasn't that much taller then Severus, only a few inches, but Severus still had to tilt his head up slightly. It didn't take away from the dangerous aura or the pride that Severus had. As always, Snape was dressed in black. But this time his robes were replaced by a snug turtleneck, and a nice fitting pair of pants. Harry himself was here in jeans and a t-shirt. He suddenly felt underdressed.

"No." Harry lied, grinning and sitting back down. Severus took a seat next to him, and ordered Water.

"Well that's a surprise." Harry said, taking a sip of his beer. "The last time you didn't seem like a fan of water."

"I do not wish for you to see me like that again brat. It's enough that you have seen me in such a condition." Snape just answered. He wasn't looking at Harry, but at the crowd. Harry wondered if Snape wanted to dance. The way he stared at those people...

Harry got up from his chair. "Dance with me." he said, and held out his hand to his professor.

"Not even in a thousand years Potter." Snape snapped, taking a sip from his water.

"Come on. That's what we're all here for. To dance." Harry said, softly taking the glass out of his hand and placing it on the bar. "Come with me."

"No! I do not dance, you little brat. And least of all with you."

Harry rolled his eyes and just took his hand, pulling him to the dance floor.

"I swear to Merlin... if there weren't so many witnesses, I would kill you right here." Snape hissed, as Harry stepped behind him, laying his hands on Severus hips.

"You're tense professor. Just relax. Listen to the music." Harry said, speaking close to Severus ear. He could feel the older man shudder, and grinned, absolutely satisfied with the result of his actions.

"I will do no such thing Potter, and kindly release me now. Or I swear I will hex your balls off when I get the chance." Snape said, clearly upset.

"Just close your eyes, and lay your hands on mine.." Harry ordered, moving his body to the rhythm, softly pulling Severus body with his own. It was good he was so strong, because Snape was trying with all might not to budge.

"Don't think about the others. It's just you and me." Harry whispered. "Close your eyes. I know you want to try." The Boy who lived was pretty sure that this was Snape's problem. That he feared being laughed at, that he would loose his mask... and Harry wanted him to take the mask off. Just for one night.

Severus first stiffened, but then, slowly relaxed. Harry smiled to himself.

"Good. Now... just move with me. Feel the beat, the music... become one with it." he said, still guiding Severus.

"You sound like a hippie Potter." Severus said, but there was no real heat behind the words. Harry just laughed. He had him where he wanted him. Just like this.

It took a little longer for Severus to relax completely and let Harry guide his movements completely. Normally, he wouldn't relinquish control like this, but he had to admit that Harry had been right. He had wanted to dance, but didn't have the courage out of fear to be laughed at. Now, with Harry taking control, he felt safe. And he could always blame the young Auror if something went wrong.

"You are doing great professor." Harry said, smiling a little. Snape's hair smelled good. Like herbs, and something else. Harry couldn't really put a finger on it. He would find out later.

"Stop treating me like a little child Potter! I do not require being reassured all the time." Snape said, turning his head over his shoulder to look at Harry.

"I'm sorry professor. I'm just trying to make you feel comfortable." Harry answered. He knew that Severus needed the reassurance. More than anyone else in this room.

"Really, then kindly let go of me and let me return to my water." Severus said, still looking at Harry. But Harry wasn't listening. He was just staring into Snape's eyes. Why had he never realized how attractive Severus was? He wasn't the classic type of beautiful, of course, but still. Harry found himself very attracted to his old professor.

"Potter, stop staring at me as if you were about to eat me for dinner!" Snape spat, pulling himself loose from Harry and darted to the bathroom. Harry didn't even have the time to blink.

So he walked back to the bar, sat down, and gave a deep sigh. He had probably ruined it. Snape would come back, take his stuff and leave. Harry knew him. Severus always bolted when things got to personal.

20 minutes later, Severus returned to Harry, slowly sitting down.

"I'm sorry professor." Harry immediately said. "I didn't want you to feel awkward."

Severus didn't answer. All he did was take a deep breath of air, and then mumbled "Let us try it again."

Harry couldn't believe his ears. Was Snape actually saying what he just heard? It was impossible. And yet, Harry was sure he had heard it.

_Let us try it again._

Harry stood up, taking Severus hand again, and lead him back to the dance floor. Severus turned his back on him, and Harry placed his hands on Severus hips again.

This time, Snape was more relaxed, easing into Harry's movement... and then leaning into the embrace. Harry's eyes widened. What was happening? But he didn't complain. Slowly, his hands glided up Severus sides, just a little bit until he let them travel back to his hips. Severus did stiffen a little, but then relaxed again.

Harry kept dancing, at it seemed as hours went by. The people around them didn't matter anymore. They weren't important. It was only him and Severus. Then suddenly, Severus struggled free.

"I need to drink something." he said, looking at Harry.

"I do too. Come one." together, they walked to the bar and sat down.

Both ordered water, drinking it completely as soon as they got it. Harry hadn't realized how thirsty he had been.

"I need to go outside." Severus said, standing up.

"Why?" Harry immediately asked, standing up himself. "What do you want to do outside?"

"Relax Potter. I just want to smoke. It's not allowed in here." he said, his lips curling into something that could be called a smile. "You are free to join me if you wish." then he walked outside.

Of course, Harry didn't hesitate to follow. Standing next to each other in silence, Severus smoked and they both stared at the street.

"You feel it to, don't you?" Harry suddenly asked.

"Feel what?" Severus asked, taking another deep drag, and letting the smoke come out of his mouth ins circles.

"That there is something between us. Something different." Harry said, closing his eyes halfway. "Something has changed."

"Even if I were to feel such a thing Potter, it is nothing that should be explored." Sever said, throwing the cigarette to the floor, and lighting a new one.

"Why not?" Harry asked, watching Severus lit the cigarette. His fingers were thin and long... Harry wondered how it would feel when they touched him.

"Because something like this could never be. The Golden Boy and the Death Eater..." Severus gave a small noise of amusement, but it sounded bitter. "The paper would be all over it."

"Does it matter what they think?" Harry asked. "I wouldn't care."

"Of course you wouldn't!" Severus suddenly snapped, looking at Harry. "Why would you?! You would be the poor boy, that was bewitched my the Death Eater! Maybe even forced by the Imperius to make you his. No, Potter, of course you would have no reason to care at all."

Harry watched Severus and then bent his head down a little bit. "I'm sorry professor. I didn't think of it that way." Severus was right. The wizards would tear Severus up. The man had enough to bare with. He didn't want to make Severus life more complicated.

Severus seemed to relax, and slowly leaned against the wall again.

"Give me another dance Severus." Harry said, watching Snape's breath catch as he used his first name.

"And then what?" Severus asked, turning to face Harry. "What happens after the one dance?"

"Then I will except that all we can do is be friends. I still want to meet you again. Maybe we could go for dinner next weekend." Harry said.

Severus hesitated and then nodded. Harry smiled. A few minutes later Severus put out his cigarette, and walked back inside.

When they got to the dance floor, Severus wanted to turn around, but Harry stopped him.

"No. Like this." he gently took severus hands, and laid them around his neck. Then he placed his hands on his hips. Severus looked insecure, but Harry just smiled. "No need to be afraid. I won't let anything happen to you."

Severus just nodded, not looking at Harry, who leaned his forehead against Severus. Harry loved Severus' scent. How had he never noticed it before? He had been close to Snape on numerous occasions. How could he not have noticed?

They danced, one last dance as something that might be more then friends. When the song ended, they both wished it hadn't.

"I think it is time for me to leave." Snape said. Harry nodded.

"I will take you home." This time, Severus didn't oppose. They walked to the station together, again being followed by the muggle, but not caring. Harry took Severus hand in his as they walked, and Severus didn't pull away. It was like a miracle. At least for Harry.

They apperated, and reached Snape's private room in what seemed like hours. Everything around then seemed to have disappeared. They exchanged heated looks, even smoldering.

The moment the door to Snape's livingroom closed, Harry attacked the thin lips with a feverish kiss. They felt warm and soft, and Harry moaned at the feeling. He pushed Severus against the wall, could feel the hands of the smaller man grab his hair to hold him close. It hurt, but it was a good hurt, chasing shivers down his spine.

Severus opened his mouth and Harry quickly slipped his tongue in, ravishing his mouth. Severus groaned, pushing his body against Harry's. The young Auror started rubbing his groin against Severus' fiercely, earning more sounds of pleasure from the Potion Master. They're body's trembled with pleasure, their moan's filled the room, and bounced of the wall.

As Severus got close, he pulled back from the kiss and grabbed Harry's shoulder, moaning louder and louder, until he bit Harry into the neck to quiet himself. Harry gave a hiss of pleasure. He felt himself growing close as well, and pushed against Severus with more force.

Then suddenly, Severus shuddered violently in his arms and then hissed his name as he came. That was all it took to push Harry over the edge. He groaned the name of his former professor, and felt his pants grow sticky.

They stood there for a few minutes, gasping for air. None of them dared to say something. Nobody wanted to break the moment. But then, it was Snape who spoke first.

"This was a huge mistake." he said, and pushed Harry away carefully. "We shouldn't allow this to happen again." Harry looked at Severus.

"You are probably right." he then said. It wasn't how he felt at all. He wanted to be with Severus. He wanted to try and find out what this was. What had happened. And what he felt for Severus. But he knew, Severus would hardly let him.

"You should go home Harry." Severus said, making Harry blink as he used his first name.

"But our dinner next weekend... that's still planed, right?" Harry asked, watching Severus' face intensely. "You won't cancel, right?"

Severus gulped and then looked to the side.

"Promise me, Severus." Harry whispered, taking Severus hand. "Promise me you won't let me down." He took Severus hand and placed a soft kiss on his palm.

"Just friends?" Severus asked, shivering as Harry kissed his palm.

"Just friends." Harry said. At least for now. Harry wasn't planning on letting Severus go, ever again. But the Potions Master didn't have to know this fact right now.

"Then I'll meet you at the train station at 6 p.m." Severus said, and then turned to walk to another door that probably lead either to the bathroom or his bedroom.

"I'll be there." Harry answered, as he watched Severus disappear into the room, before he left.

**Tbc...?**


	3. Feelings

_First of all, thank you for commenting my story. I'm really happy that you guys enjoy it, and I will hurry to update as soon as possible._

_I am looking for a beta, so if anybody has the time and wants to do me the favor, just send me a message. I'd be really thankful for some help._

_Now, please enjoy the 3__rd__ chapter. _

Chapter 3

Harry waited nervously, checking his watch every few seconds. Snape still had 5 minutes, and still, Harry was anxious for him to arrive. The fear that Snape had decided not to come drove him crazy, and he started to walk back and forth.

"Stop pacing Potter, it looks ridicules." the velvety voice made Harry jump and turn around, only to look at Snape, who was grinning mockingly.

"Will you ever stop sneaking up on me, Professor?" Harry answered, grinning sheepishly.

"Only when you start to notice me sneaking." Severus answered. "Which would mean never."

Harry just laughed. "Do you have a restaurant in mind, or should we just walk around?"

"I have something in mind." Severus simply answered, and started walking. They didn't talk much on the way to the restaurant, but Snape's presence alone made Harry's body tingle, his heart beat faster... he wondered if Snape felt the same.

10 minutes later, Snape stopped in front of an Chinese restaurant, that looked pretty nice. They went in, and soon were seated at a table that was located at the back of the room.

"This is really nice." Harry said, listening to the subtle Chinese music. The inside was decorated in warm red and gold colors, making Harry feeling home immediately. He grinned.

"I assumed you would enjoy it." Severus said, handing Harry a menu. Harry took it and take a swift look at the meals available. His glance kept moving to Snape, watching as the Potions Master studied the menu.

"Stop staring brat, and pick your food." Severus suddenly said, making Harry quickly turn his sight back to the card. How the hell did Snape do that?!

"I wasn't staring." Harry quickly said, deciding that he would want the duck with sweet and sour sauce, with rice and vegetables.

"You shouldn't lie either." Severus just answered, a small smile on his face. Harry couldn't look away. Snape actually looked... cute when he smiled like that. So unlike the normal, rude and mean Snape.

The waiter came and took their order, and they were left alone again. Harry could have stared at Severus all night long. Instead, he started a conversation.

"How did you find this place?" he asked.

"I found it after a rather exhausting night at the club. I was very hungry, and assumed there would be something close to the train station." Severus answered. "It was nice and the prices reasonable."

"I see." Harry said, watching Severus lay his hands on the table. Without thinking, Harry laid his on Snape's. The Potion Master immediately pulled back, giving Harry a warning look. Harry just smiled.

The food was brought to them, and Harry enjoyed the meal. It was good, and he and Severus made conversation through the whole dinner. Snape told Harry about his work, and Harry told him about his. Severus listened patiently and nodded, asked a few questions. Harry was having a lot of fun.

When they were done eating, Harry waved the waiter to them, and paid for both meals.

"You shouldn't have paid for me." Severus said, as they were standing outside. Severus lit a cigarette, and took a deep drag.

"Don't argue, it was my treat. When will you stop smoking?" Harry asked. He didn't mind smoke, but he didn't want Snape to die of Lunge cancer.

"The correct question would be if I will ever stop smoking, Potter." Severus answered.

"Stop using my last name. We're friends now. Call me Harry." Harry said, as they started to walk to the train station.

"If you wish, I will do so in private." Severus answered. "But then you must refrain from calling me professor. It is only fair if you call me Severus."

Harry grinned, pleased that Severus had offered him his first name. It was something rare.

"Why did you start smoking in the first place?" he asked, walking as close to Snape as possible without their shoulders touching, so he could enjoy Severus' unique scent.

"I started because I heard it helped against stress. That it calms people. I have smoked for a long time now. I doubt I will ever stop." Severus answered, and looked at Harry from the side.

Harry could feel his eyes caressing his skin, feel them travel down his neck and his chest, down to his pants and back up. It gave him goose bumps. Then he took a closer look at Severus himself.

The Potion Master was in black as always, but still... it looked like he had thought about what to wear. The jeans were black, but snug and Harry couldn't resist to take a quick look at Severus' ass.

"You look very nice by the way." Harry said casually, used to making such compliments. Severus just snorted.

"I really mean it!" Harry said, stopping and grabbing Severus' arm. "You look very attractive."

Snape looked at Harry, just looked at him without saying anything. Harry seemed to get lost in Snape's eyes, as if they were pulling him in. Snape's lips were slightly parted, just inviting to be kissed... but Harry didn't dare to do so. Snape had been clear before, and for now he had to respect that. He thought that if they maybe spent more time together, got to know each other and were friends first, Snape might actually change his mind. Might consider Harry as a partner.

They stood like that for a few minutes, before Severus winced and gave a small sound of pain.

"What's wrong?" Harry immediately asked, looking at Severus with such worry in his eyes, the other had to look away.

"I forgot the cigarette. It burnt my hand." Severus mumbled, lifting his hand and showing Harry were the cigarette had burned his fingers. Harry took it, and healed it quickly, before placing a soft kiss of the pieces of skin that had been burnt, making Severus gasp.

"All better now." he said, his voice low and rough. The feeling of Snape's skin against his lips made the longing for Snape grow stronger, so strong Harry didn't know if he could hold back. But he had to, or else he would upset Snape...

"Do it again." Snape whispered, looking at Harry with lust filled eyes.

Harry bit his lower lip, and then placed another kiss on Severus hand. Then he slowly let go. It was so hard... Snape was a walking and talking seduction. He wanted to touch him so badly that he had to curl his hands into fists to resist.

"Let's keep going." he finally said, forcing his voice to be normal. Severus nodded in agreement and started walking again. There was no question that Harry was bringing Severus home.

Harry walked Severus to the door of his private rooms. They both stood there, hesitant, not really knowing what to do.

"Would you like to stay for a drink?" Severus then asked, not looking at Harry.

Harry knew he shouldn't. That it was to dangerous. That he was hardly able to control himself here, and it would be a thousand times worse inside Severus' room. He knew he had to go.

"I'd love too." the words came out of his mouth before he could think about it. But the small smile Snape gave him let him forget how wrong this was. It made Snape smile. And that was all that counted.

They walked to the chairs, and Severus summoned a bottle of Firewhisky and two glasses. He half-filled the glass and gave it to Harry, before doing the same to his glass and sat down.

They didn't talk. Simply because it wasn't necessary. And Harry was sure, if Severus said one more word with his silky voice, Harry would loose all control. When had he become so needy? Or, maybe he wasn't needy. Needy meant to have a need for something, to share it with whoever crossed you way.

All he needed was Snape.

Harry was lost in his thoughts, sipping his drink and watching Snape. Snape had looked at the fire, and now slowly turned to look at Harry. When their eyes met, it was like something disconnected the part of Harry's brain that knew he shouldn't do anything, and the part that wanted to do it so baldy it hurt.

They both stood up at the same time, letting their glasses fall to the floor. Harry took two steps and captured Severus in his arms, kissing him urgently and fiercely. Snape tasted sweeter than anything Harry had ever tasted, and he couldn't get enough.

Severus quickly opened his mouth, laying his arms around Harry's neck. He responded as Harry slipped his tongue into his mouth, heating the kiss even more.

Harry pushed Severus against a bookshelf, letting his hands roam freely over the smaller body. He could feel Snape's erection pressing against his leg, and he moaned.

Severus then pulled away, gasping for air and said "No... we shouldn't do this..." Harry bit his lower lip, ready to pull away... but Severus didn't let go.

"No we shouldn't..." Harry whispered. They looked at each other for a second, before Harry captured Severus lips in another passionate kiss. He couldn't stop, not now. He pushed his body against Severus, kissing him passionately. But then, Severus pushed him away.

"Stop..." he whispered. Harry stopped, looking at Severus. The Potion Master looked absolutely delicious. His cheeks were a soft red, his lips pink and swollen from all the kisses. And as Harry let his gaze drop, he could see Severus' penis straining against the pants he was wearing.

"I'm sorry..." Harry breathed, looking at Severus face again. "I lost control."

"I noticed." Snape mumbled. "You should leave."

Harry looked at Severus. His chest was raising and falling fast, and his member still hadn't calmed down.

"Let me help you out. Then I'll go." Harry said, pushing Severus against the bookshelf again. "I promise I won't go further."

Severus shuddered but then said "No, don't... I can't do this with you..."

"Just forget. Forget everything only for a few seconds." Harry whispered, and gently nipped at Severus' earlobe. "I promise you'll like it." Harry quickly let his hand slip into Sev's pants. Severus gave a loud moan, and as Harry grabbed his penis, he hissed his name.

"You like it, don't you my little snake." he whispered, moving his hand up and down Severus erection. It was hard to move while Severus was still wearing clothing but Harry was sure Severus wouldn't let him remove the annoying pants.

"Harry..." Severus whispered, pushing against Harry's hand. The Boy who Lived let his thumb circle the sensitive head, making Severus groan with pleasure. He could feel it harden in his hand, more and more, until his head started to grow sticky.

"You're close aren't you?" Harry whispered. "See, I promised you'd like it."

Severus couldn't answer. He could barely breath properly. Only a few seconds later Severus tipped his head back and groaned the name of the man that was pleasuring him.

Harry slowly pulled back his hand as soon as he was sure that he had gotten everything Snape could give, and cleaned it with a simple charm.

Severus wasn't looking at Harry, and it worried the younger man.

"What's wrong?" he asked, softly touching Severus hair. But Severus hit it away.

"I told you not too!" Severus suddenly yelled, taking out his wand. Harry blinked. "I told you to stop!"

"Severus I-"

"NO!" Snape bellowed. "You said just friends! Friends Potter!"

Harry didn't understand. Why was Severus going nuts about this? He had just helped him out!

"Severus I'm sorry if I did something wrong, I swear, I would never want to hurt you!" Harry said, taking a step forward.

"Don't come close me!" Severus yelled, his wand pointed at Harry. "Leave or I swear to Merlin that you will regret ever being born Potter! You are just like your father! So fucking pushy!"

Harry stopped to move.

"What do you mean my father was pushy?" Harry asked, watching Severus' face fall. "Severus, what the **hell** do you mean?!" Now it was Harry's turn to be furious.

"Leave Potter!" Snape snapped, turned and ran into his bedroom. Harry tried to follow but the door closed before he could reach it, and as much as he hit the solid wood or yelled at Snape, the door didn't open.

After screaming so much his throat hurt, Harry gave up. For now. This was not the end of things. He had to find out what Snape had meant, and why he had gone nuts like that.

He wasn't going to let Snape escape. Not in this matter. Not ever.

**Tbc...?**


	4. Memory

**Chapter 3**

Severus stared at the potion boiling in front of him. The mixture bubbled slightly, the green color reminding him of a pair of eye's he'd like to forget. He was so stupid. How had he let his word's slip like that? He was always in control. So why had he lost it like that the last time he saw Harry?

A week had passed, it was Saturday again. The day he normally went to the club to relax. Harry had written him letters, two or three every day, asking him to meet him and explain to him what happened.

He had never answered.

He couldn't tell Harry, he didn't want to. Still, a small part in his mind that Severus kept carefully concealed, knew he had to. There was no going back if he wanted to keep Harry as a friend. But did he want to? Did he want to keep Harry close to himself?

He wanted to. He really did.

But still. Was this need for having the boy close stronger then the need to keep this part of his life a secret? The fact that he was even thinking about it showed that it probably was. Severus didn't want to admit it, but he couldn't deny it, as much as he tried.

With an angry sound he let the potion disappear, and threw on his muggle clothes. He rushed to the Forbidden Forest and apperated to the club. He didn't know if Harry would be there, but if he was, he would tell him what he meant.

He walked inside, taking of his coat and sat down at the bar. He looked around, finally spotting Harry coming from the bathroom. As soon as he had spotted him, Harry had seen him. The boy quickly hurried his way, slowing down the closer he came and then stopped in front of Severus.

"I didn't expect you being here." Harry simply said.

"I didn't expect me being here either." Severus dryly answered, ordering a water.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Harry asked, sitting down next to him. Severus didn't respond for a while, and then just nodded.

"I will show you. I assume you know how." he said, and watched Harry breath out in relieve.

"Yes, I know how. Do you want to do it now, or do you want to stay here?" Severus knew that Harry was probably dying of curiosity, but he couldn't go back now. Not just yet. He thought about how he could extend their visit here without telling Harry directly that he wasn't ready yet. Even though he knew that Potter would probably see him through.

"Let's dance." was all the black-haired wizard said, before he got up and looked at Harry.

The Boy who lived smiled at him and nodded, before taking his hand. Severus didn't know why he allowed this, being so close to Harry when he had promised himself to keep him at distance. But he needed to be close to him, feel his body near his own. Before that, he couldn't show Harry.

He followed Harry to the dance floor, placing his hands around Harry's neck. They started to move, Harry's hands on his hips, gently leading him. Severus still felt awkward, but with Harry's guidance, he started to relax. Nothing could go wrong. Harry would protect him.

When had he started trusting Harry like this? When had he let the boy in? Severus couldn't remember, and right now he didn't care. The heat of the other body so close to him felt to good. He just wanted to enjoy dancing with him.

He could feel Harry move closer, pressing their body's together, but he didn't mind. He could feel the boy's heartbeat, hear the shaking breath's the young man gave. Was he scared of what Severus would show him, or was he just exited? Or maybe both?

They danced for a while, until Severus felt himself growing hard. It was just then when he noticed something hard pressing against his thigh. He slowly moved away. It was time to leave.

"Let's go." he said and looked at Harry. The boy nodded. He got his coat, waiting for Harry to do the same and then left the club. They walked to the train station, as usual being followed by the boy.

They apperated, and walked to Severus private room.

"Sit here." Severus said, pointing to one of the chairs. "I'll be back in a second." Harry complied, at sat down. Severus then left the room, and returning with the pensive.

He carefully placed it on top of the small table standing in between the chairs. Harry slowly got up.

"Are you sure you want to see this?" Severus asked, watching Harry.

"Yes. I need to know. I just need to." Severus gave a small nod. He had known the answer to his question before he had asked it.

Harry stood next to him, and Severus slowly took his hand. They looked at each other, and together dived into the memory.

"_Sev! Wait!" James Potter called as he followed a running Severus into the library. He seemed upset, both of them did. They came to a stop at the back of the library, where they couldn't be seen._

"_What do you want?!" young Severus hissed, turning to glare at James._

"_We need to talk." James said, bitting his lower lip. "I'm sorry Sirius picks on you all the time I..."_

"_Then why don't you do anything against it?" Severus spat, slowly sitting down in one of the chairs that stood there. "When are you going to tell him?"_

_James was silent for a while._

"_I... I don't want to loose him Severus. He's my best friend." he then said, sitting down on the chair next to Severus. "And what should I tell him? 'Hey Sirius, I like Snape, you know the guy you hate, but he doesn't want me. Could you eventually stop being mean to him?' It's not like we're together Sev."_

"_Stop calling me that." Snape said. "Even if we were together, you wouldn't tell him. Face it James, you are a coward. You would never let anybody know." Severus shook his head._

"_Maybe I would if you'd finally agree to start seeing me!" James said, his voice raising. "Maybe if you'd give me a chance, I could proof to you I would."_

"_If you can't even tell him you like me, you won't tell him we are a couple." Severus just answered. "Which is the reason why I won't start dating you. I doubt you even like me as much as you say. It's probably some sick joke."_

"_You're wrong." James insisted. "I like you. I love you Sev!" _

_Severus gave a snort. "Go lie to someone who believes you."_

_Out of nowhere, James jumped up and grabbed Severus' wrist, pushing him against a bookshelf._

"_You want proof?" he snapped, before he forced Severus hand's over his head. "Fine, here you go."_

_James kissed Severus, so violently it looked like it hurt. He pushed himself against Snape's struggling body, using one hand to keep the hand's of the black haired boy pinned over his head, using the other to touch Severus. _

_Severus' protest was muffled by James demanding lips, as the Gryffindor slipped his hand's into Severus pants. It didn't take long, only a few minutes, before James let go of Severus, licking a white fluid from his hand._

"_There. Now you know how my I like you." he whispered, before he turned and left, leaving a crying Severus behind._

This was the moment when Severus pulled them back out of the memory, letting go of Harry's hand and stared at the floor.

"Now you know what I mean." Severus said, watching Harry's expression. The boy looked shocked, angry... he probably hadn't thought his father was capable of liking Snape, or forcing him to such things as he had just seen.

"...What happened after this? And what about my mother?" Harry quietly asked, still staring at the pensive.

"I told him I never wanted to see him again. He was furious. A few days afterwards, he hung me by my feet and showed everybody my underwear. I... I thought I loved Lily, and I did, very much. But as a sister. Not as anything else." Severus said. Harry just shook his head.

"I'm sorry Severus." he said, finally looking at the Potions Master. "I am so sorry."

Severus just shook his head. "You didn't know..." was all he said.

They stood in silence, neither one moving. Then suddenly, Severus felt arms wrap around him. Harry pulled him close to his chest, holding him. Severus placed his hands on his back.

"I promise I'll treat you well." Harry whispered. "I promise I'll keep you safe. I promise I'll do anything to make you happy."

Severus closed his eyes and breathed in Harry's scent. He knew Harry would keep his promise. But he was still afraid. Afraid that it would all go wrong.

Still, he couldn't deny his feelings for the boy anymore. He wanted to be with him. More then he had ever wanted to be with anybody else.

"...We have to take it slow. Very slow. And be careful. I want to keep it a secret first." Severus said, leaning against Harry. He could feel the boy's body shiver.

"I promise I will do everything you ask of me." Harry whispered, looking into two black eyes.

Severus nodded, and studied Harry's face for a while. Then, he gently pressed his lips to Harry's. They both trembled, but then the kiss deepened. Severus felt Harry's tongue invading his mouth, and it tasted sweeter that any sin. They kissed a while, before Harry let go. They both breathed heavily, and Severus knew if Harry didn't leave soon, they would rush into something his body was ready for. But not his mind.

"I have to go." Harry said "I will write to you. I want to meet you before Saturday."

"I will answer as soon as I get your letter." Severus said, allowing a small smile to appear on his face.

"Good night, Severus." Harry said, moving towards the door.

"Good night, Harry."

"Hey mate, what's up?" Ron said, sitting down on the chair next to Harry's. The boy who lived was sitting in his flat, and had invited Ron over. They both stilled enjoyed spending time together, and they would visit once or twice a week.

"Nothing much." Harry replied, smiling at his best friend. "Work is keeping me busy. How about you? How's Hermione?"

"She's doing good. She's got a lot of work to do, so she's a little tired. I told her to slow down, now that she's pregnant, but she won't listen to me." Ron gave a small sigh. "But aside that, I'm doing okay."

Harry smiled. "She really should slow down. What month is she in?"

"6th. She's complaining that she feels like a elephant." they both laughed.

"So mate, what about you? Do you have someone?" Ron asked, looking at Harry curiously.

Harry hesitated, and then nodded. "I do." Ron knew he was gay, and had accepted it pretty quickly.

"Oh, who is it?" Ron asked.

"I.. I'd rather not say until things work out. We're still at the beginning." Harry said, smiling apologetic at Ron.

"Oh, that's cool." the red-head answered. "You think it will work out?"

"I really hope so." Harry said. In that moment, he could hear a soft knock at the window. He quickly got up, and let the owl in that carried the letter Harry had been waiting for since this morning.

Snape had agreed to meet him tonight. They would go out and eat, this time at a restaurant Harry would choose. A smile appeared on Harry's face. Ron grinned.

"Got a date tonight?" he asked knowingly. Harry grinned as well.

"Yeah. Gonna go grab a bite." he answered. "I'm meeting him at 7."

"Oh, so you've got two hours. You want me to help you find something to wear?" Ron asked, grinning even wider.

"I think I can do that myself, thank you." Harry answered, trying to stop grinning. He failed.

He sat down next to Ron again, and laid the letter on the table, upside down so Ron couldn't read from who it was from.

"So, the Quidditchmatches next week will be interesting..." Ron started. They talked about Quidditch for the rest of their time together.

At 6, Ron left and Harry got ready. He had chosen a pair of dark-blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. Snape would probably be all in black as always. After trying to tame his hair, he quickly pulled on his jacket and left.

This time Severus was already there when Harry arrived.

"Hey." Harry said, looking at Severus who had dressed completely in black. Just as he had suspected.

"Good evening." Severus said, smiling a little. "Do tell me where you are taking me. You've got me intrigued."

"You'll like it, I promise. Come." Harry said, starting to walk. Severus walked next to him, lighting a cigarette. Harry rolled his eyes.

"If you dislike smoke, you should not meet with someone who smokes." Severus said, taking a drag.

"It's not the smoke that bothers me. I'm scared you'll get cancer." Harry replied.

"I won't get cancer." Severus said, taking another drag.

"How do you know?" Harry asked, looking at Severus. The older man just grinned.

They walked in silence to the place Harry had picked. It was a small bar, and Snape first looked sceptic. But when they got in, Harry could see Severus opinion change with the expression on his face.

Soft jazz music floated through the room. There were little tables with two chairs standing in front of a stage, where the musicians worked their magic. It was full, but Harry found a table in the right corner, and lead Severus there. They sat down, and a few minutes later a waitress appeared, handing them the menu.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked, as he watched Severus flip through the menu. He knew what he wanted, since he came here pretty often, and always ordered the same thing.

"The ambiance is acceptable." Severus replied. Harry grinned. In normal English it meant as much as 'Yes, I do.'

A few minutes later the waitress was back, taking their orders and disappearing into the kitchen.

"I come to this place pretty often." Harry said. "I like the music, and the people are nice. Do you like jazz?"

"It is bearable." Severus said, watching the musicians play their instruments. Harry just grinned again. They talked about a lot of things during dinner, and Harry was pleased that Severus seemed relaxed. He had picked the right place to go.

They soon were finished with dinner, and Harry again paid for both meals.

"You shouldn't keep inviting me." Severus said, as they stood outside, lighting a cigarette. "I can very well pay for myself."

Harry smiled and then said "How about this. We take turns. I pay one dinner, and you pay the next. Does that sound like something you could agree to?"

"It does." Severus said, smiling a little. Harry gently took Severus' hand, and placed a kiss on the back of it.

"I'm glad to hear that." he said. "Would you like to go home, or can I invite you for a cup of coffee at my home? I've seen your rooms a few times. Now it's your turn to see mine."

Severus hesitated, and Harry thought about taking back what he said, but then Severus nodded.

"That sound logical." the Potions Master said, looking at Harry. The boy who lived smiled widely, and took Severus back to his home.

His flat wasn't big, made for only one person. It had a bathroom, a kitchen, a bedroom and a livingroom.

"Please make yourself at home." Harry said, smiling at Severus as he lead him into the livingroom. "I'll be back with the coffee in a second."

Severus nodded, and sat down on the couch. He didn't have to wait long, Harry soon came back with two cup's of hot coffee.

"Do you need sugar or milk?" he asked, but Severus shook his head. He sat down next so Severus, and sipped his coffee.

"You have a very nice home." Severus said, not looking at Harry. The boy who lived could feel the heat of Severus' body, causing goose bumps.

"Thank you. It's a real mess though. I can't get myself to pick up more then once a week." Severus gave a small laugh. Harry could feel his body tingle. He loved it when Severus laughed. Absolutely.

"It could be worse." Severus said, and took a sip of his coffee. His hand was laying on his thigh, and Harry could help but take it into his. Severus didn't pull his hand away.

They sat like this for a few minutes, not speaking. Just being together, feeling the other's presence... Harry shot a look at Severus, at the same moment as Severus decided to look at him. Their eye's connected, and Harry slowly put away his cup.

He laid his hand on Severus cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb. Severus gave a small sigh and closed his eyes, relaxing into the touch. Harry gently took the cup from Severus' hand, and placed it onto the table.

Then, he gently pulled Snape closer, holding him in an embrace. Severus seemed to enjoy the touch, leaning into Harry, and giving another sigh. Harry gently stroked his back. Carefully, he lifted Severus chin, and placed a small kiss on his lips.

It started as a sweet, innocent kiss. Just the feel of lips pressing together. Severus shivered. Gently, Harry's tongue slipped between Severus', who opened them immediately. Harry explored Severus' mouth, sliding his tongue over the roof of his mouth, earning a soft moan. He felt Severus' hand's grab his t-shirt, lightly touching his nipples. Harry groaned softly, deepening the kiss. His tongue searched for Severus', and started to play with it.

He could feel Severus press against him, and shivered again. He pulled Snape onto his lap, softly touching his hips and side's. The kiss heated, both him and Severus growing more desperate. His hands moved without him thinking, caressing Severus' back and side's, making the older man moan into the kiss.

The Potion Master shifted, making their groins touch for a few seconds. Severus' hip pushed forward, rubbing their erections together. Both groaned. Harry was losing his mind, Severus drove him crazy. He wanted to touch him, touch his so bad it hurt. Without thinking, he slipped his hands under Severus' top, softly touching the skin underneath. Snape's hip thrust forward again as Harry touched his nipples, that were already hard.

He couldn't stop himself. He started to massage Severus' nipples, making the older one thrust against him more violently. He had to stop. He knew he had to. He had agreed to take it slow.

His thought were pushed out of his head as Severus pulled back from the kiss and hissed his name. Harry had to pull together all his willpower to pull back his hands.

"...I should probably take you home now." Harry breathed. Severus looked at him and nodded. The Potions Master slowly got up from Harry's lap, and they apperated back to Hogwarts.

After a quick good night kiss, Harry returned home to his flat. How was this supposed to end? Harry didn't know. But he wanted to find out.

Find out if this was a crush... or love.

**Tbc...?**


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry it took so long to update, but here the new chapter is. I hope you enjoy it._

_Have fun!_

Harry ran a hand through his hair as he let himself fall into his chair. The last few days had been full of work, more then usual, and the only way he was able to talk to Severus was writing letters. The potion master always answered rather quickly, a lot quicker then he used to, and that made Harry's heart beat a little faster.

Now, after a week of working almost non-stop, he really wanted to see Severus. He wrote a letter, asking him to meet him at the club. He needed to relax, have a beer and just dance. Dance with Severus to be exact.

He quickly stood up, and wrote Severus a letter, hoping that he had time to see him. It was Friday night after all, and Severus should have been done with most of his work. While he waited for an answer, he started figuring out what to wear. Even if Snape didn't make it, he wanted to go out, just for a little.

When Hedwig came back, he opened the letter, hoping that Severus had time. What he read lowered his mood a little bit.

_Dear Harry,_

_I'm sorry but I have a lot of work to do, I can't make it. But if you have time tomorrow, I could try and make some time? _

_S.S._

Harry had to admit that he was pretty disappointed, but then just smiled a little. He knew Severus was dedicated to his work, and that's one of the things he really loved about him. Yes, loved. He _loved _Snape. He had found that out pretty quickly in the week he hadn't seen him.

After not seeing Severus for one day he felt a little unsettled. After the second day, he felt unhappy. After the third day, he was getting shifty. After the fourth, he thought he was losing it. After the fifth, he was in pain. After the fifth day he thought, he was going to go mad. After the seventh day, today, he felt like dying.

So he figured you only missed someone you loved like that. Someone that you need in your life, that make's the sun shine on a rainy day, or that makes you feel better when you screwed up at work without even having to say a word, but just hold you. And Severus was this man for him.

Not being able to see him today did make Harry feel sad, but knowing that he could see him tomorrow raised his spirits. So he got dressed and went to the club, just to have a good time. It wasn't the first time that he went to the club by himself, and it probably wouldn't be the last time.

He took his coat of, and sat at the bar, ordering a beer. Then suddenly, a younger man walked up to him, and sat next to him.

"Hey." he said, smiling at him. "I'm Joshua. My friends call me Josh."

Harry looked at him and then smiled a little.

"Hey, Joshua, I'm Harry. And my friends call me wonderful. Or just Harry." That made Josh laugh a little bit, and Harry had to admit that he was cute. The bartender gave him his beer, and Harry took a sip, making a sound of pleasure.

"Hard week?" Joshua asked, sipping on his water.

"You could say so." Harry answered, giving Josh another short glance. He was sure he had seen this guy before, but he couldn't really place him... maybe he was just tired... or maybe Josh just had one of those faces.

"What do you work as? By the look of you it has to be something with sports." Joshua said, but Harry didn't miss the very subtle compliment.

"I work for the police." Harry answered, which wasn't a real lie. He _did_ work as kind of a police officer, just not for the muggle world.

"Oh really?" Josh said, his eyes widening. "That's really impressive. Have you caught any bad guys this week?"

Harry had to chuckle at how innocent Josh sounded. Calling a criminal a 'bad guy'... it was cute.

"Yeah, actually I have. By the way, how old are you?" Harry was curious, Josh looked rather young, and the way he talked was rather innocent as well.

"I'm 19." Josh answered, and smiled in a way that made Harry rethink if it was good to keep talking to him. Joshua was definitely interested in him, and so when Harry asked his age, Josh might have got the impression that Harry liked him too.

"I'm 24." he answered and took another sip of his beer.

"Really? You look younger." Joshua said, still smiling and moving a little closer to Harry. "So, Harry, will you dance with me? It'll be fun, I promise. And I love this song."

Harry gave Josh a cautious glance, and then decided that it would be safe to dance with him.

"Sure, why not." he said, walking to the dance floor. Josh was quick to follow him, and then danced with him. They danced for a while, before they went back to the bar. Harry talked to Josh for a while, and had to admit that the younger one was a lot of fun. The way he saw the world was so different then the way Severus or himself did. He was so happy, so... naive. And It was a nice change.

It was getting late, and Harry was starting to feel tired. He wanted to go home soon. He was about to tell Josh that he was probably going to leave soon when he looked into his eyes and realized that he was planning something.

Before he could even react, Josh had pressed his lips to Harry, and laid one arm around his neck, holding him back from moving, holding his beer bottle in his other hand. Harry blinked twice, and tried to pull back when Joshua suddenly jumped back, yelped and stared at his hand that was cut open and bleeding.

"What the hell?!" Harry almost shouted, staring at Josh. "What happened?"

Joshua whimpered in pain, holding his hand that was bleeding a little less now.

"I don't know, the bottle suddenly burst!" he whined. All of a sudden Harry felt a strong magical presence. He looked up, and what he saw froze his blood. Severus was standing at the door, his eyes filled with anger and pain.

"Shit." Harry mumbled, looking back to Joshua, and then back to Snape. "What the hell was he doing here?"

"Who?" Joshua asked, pressing a napkin on his palm that the bartender had given him, following . "The guy at the door? Is he your boyfriend?"

"Sort of." Harry mumbled, expecting Snape to come over every second to start yelling at him, lash out verbally, and make him feel like a complete idiot in front of everybody. But nothing of what he expected happened.

Severus started shaking, and then suddenly turned and stormed out of the club. Harry couldn't believe his eyes.

"Are you okay?!" he asked Joshua, throwing money at the bartender (more then he had to pay) and grabbing his coat.

"What?" Joshua asked, a little put at back that Harry was dating someone like... the guy by the door. "Uh... yeah, sure."

"Okay, I've got to go. I'll see you later." Harry said, and quickly walked out of the club. His gaze swept the streets, trying to figure out where Snape had went, but then found him leaning against the wall of the club, smoking.

"Severus..." Harry started.

"No need to explain." the older man said, and for a few seconds Harry thought Severus had overreacted in the club, but now was thinking more clearly and realized that the boy had kissed him, not the other way around. "I _knew _there was no way this would end any other way than it just did."

"Excuse me?" Harry asked, astonished and confused by Severus word. "What do you mean?"

Severus gave a small snort. "Well Potter, think." Harry just stared at him.

"You think I was cheating on he?" he finally asked, his heartbeat increasing a little.

"No, I do not think that you cheated on me. We were never a proper couple Potter, so technically, you couldn't cheat. What I think is that you found someone more suitable for yourself, and that it is now the time for me to leave." Severus said, his voice as cold and rational as always.

"Severus, you have **got** to be kidding me!" Harry said, in absolute disbelieve. "He kissed me!"

"And you didn't stop him!" Severus sneered.

"Well you didn't give me hell of a lot of time to react did you?! You just went and blew up the bottle in his hand, and hurt him! He didn't know I was seeing someone!" Harry snapped. He couldn't believe this. After all what had happened between them, Severus still didn't believe that he liked, even loved him?!

"Oh, so you didn't tell him? Well that make's me feel a lot better Potter, really, thank you." Severus spat, taking deep breath from the cigarette.

"That's not fair! If I had known that he would make a move like that, I would have said something!" Harry answered.

"So your telling me you didn't know he was interested?" Severus asked, staring at Harry with his deep black eyes that normally melt Harry's legs shake.

"Well... no. I knew he was interested, but I didn't know he was **that** interested!" Harry answered, trying to defend himself. But Snape was pounding him into the ground, not accepting anything he said or even taking him seriously.

"Oh, so if he was a little interested, there's no need to mention me, but when he's interested a lot, there is?! You are unbelievable!" Severus barked, and kept smoking.

"Will you put that damn thing out, I can't stand the smell." Harry said, forcing himself to sound at least a little calm.

"No, I cannot." Severus answered, his voice defiant and almost childlike. "You will have to stand it if you're standing out here."

Harry bit his lower lip. He couldn't lose it. He couldn't. Lose. It. He knew Severus was probably hurting pretty bad, he was confused...

"Why don't you go back in to your little whelp, and just let me smoke in peace?" That did it. Harry couldn't stop himself. A sharp sound echoed through the street as Harry slapped Severus, the cigarette falling too the floor.

A second later he regretted what he had done. Severus head was still turned to the side, his mouth opened slightly. He didn't move.

"Severus I'm so-..." he started, but Severus just started walking in the direction of the train station. "Severus!" Harry wanted to follow him, wanted to run after him, but his legs wouldn't move.

He looked at Severus and then realized. Severus was holding him back with magic, so that he couldn't follow him.

"Severus!" he yelled, but Snape didn't answer. He kept walking, his head slightly bowed. "Severus..." his voice crackled. Severus looked broken. So broken. But when he turned into another direction Harry felt his heart quicken. Severus had been broken before Harry came, and he felt like he had healed him a little bit. And now, he had torn him back down. Severus was in a fragile state, and Harry couldn't let him wonder off like that. But he still couldn't move his feet.

Only after 20 minutes he finally was able to run after Severus, but he knew, it had almost no sense to look for him in the whole city. Maybe he was already home. Or maybe he went to another club. He could basically be everywhere.

Harry shook his head. Great. What was he going to do now? He knew, there was nothing he could do. Just wait, and hope. That Severus would turn up again.

Harry didn't hear from Severus the whole weekend. He wrote him at least 4 times every day, but Severus never answered. On Sunday evening Harry couldn't wait anymore. He had to see the Potions master. Now.

So, he made his way to the door, but as he opened it, he almost had a heart attack. Severus was standing in front of him, holding his letters of the past two days.

"May I come in?" he asked, his voice cold and controlled, expect for the slight tremor in his voice.

"Yeah... of course, of course you can." Harry said, surprised by the fact that Severus would just show up like this.

"I wanted to give you these back." he said, laying the letters on the table after he entered the living room. "And ask you not to write to me again."

Harry's mouth dropped open.

"Why?" he asked, almost breathlessly. He felt like the air was taken from his lounges. Why did Severus not want him to write to him anymore?! Sure he had screwed up, but nothing they couldn't talk about!

"I have thought very much about our present situation and I have come to believe that this will not work out." Severus answered, looking Harry in the eye. "It was very clear to me after what happened on Friday that we are not as compatible as I had thought before."

Harry couldn't stop staring. Snape was breaking up with him. He couldn't believe. His heart felt like it was about to burst.

"You can't be serious Severus." he said, taking a step forward while Snape took one back.

"Yes, I am." the black haired man answered. "I don't want to be with you in this way. You proved very clearly that this will not work out well. And while we are in such an early stage, breaking up will be a lot easier then when we are in a more advanced stage."

"Severus..." Harry managed to say, but then went silent. Severus had his head slightly bowed, his eyes staring to the floor. He was about to break down... so Harry just took another step forward and pulled him into his arms. Severus struggled... and then broke down sobbing and shaking in Harry's arms.

"I know I hurt you." the younger one said. "I know that all of this is a horrible misunderstanding. I know that you feel terrible, so do I. So please, just think about it. I would never lie to you. I love you."

Severus breath caught, and he then slowly tilted his head up to look at Harry.

"You love me?" he asked, shaking.

"I do." Harry answered.

"I..." Severus hesitated. "I have to got."

Harry blinked twice. "Wait... what?!"

But before he could do anything, Severus was already gone.


End file.
